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Alive 9


Scheme (also known  as Cosmo ?) appeared on  our Scene (too ?) many months 
ago tho we  still don't  know a  lot about  this  mysterious guy : is he a 
member of Construct Development, of the KGB or is he simply high on drugs? 
Our  special  investigator STS  dared meet  him in a  dark alley, behind a 
Chinese restaurant, surrounded by stinking garbage. Better pinch your nose 
and get prepared for... the TRUTH !

STS : Hi  Scheme  or whoever  you may  be, please  give us more info about 
yourself like the usual stuff : name, age, occupation, scene status and so 

    Scheme : I won't give you  my real name, the FBI is  only waiting for that
    and I'm  pretty sure  some of the  guys on IRC  are spies. They have never
    managed to get me and won't be able to get me at all ! My age is somewhere
    between 13 and 72, my occupation is  kept secret but you can call me "deep
    throat" if you want.

STS : Deep throat ? From a porn movie or from the Watergate case ? Woh I 
wish I had told someone where I am, in case my body should be found cold 
and dry among the garbage ! I remember you telling me that you were some 
worldwide famous hacker, can we hope to learn more ?

    Scheme : hmm, just let me tell  you that ATARI once stole the ST blueprint
    from me, that's enough I guess for  the moment. As a revenge I  decided to
    crack ALL games on Atari platforms and so I did ! Other hackers only stole
    my work and put their name instead. And who do you  think managed to crack
    GodPey and Pacman ?

STS : have you belonged to other crews before ? What about Construct 
Development ? Is still still alive ? Are you also a member of STAX ?

    Scheme : well apart from  the ATARI ST  development team, I was the founder
    of TEX, the Lost Boys, the Carebears and  many others. I've  always enjoyed
    sharing my knowledge  with rookies and thought that once they had learnt to
    survive, I could  leave and  form a new crew. Hence  you can  consider that
    about 70 % of  all time democrews were created by me. But  I guess that the
    people I've helped so much  will tell you the opposite. Suckers ! As for my
    current  crews, well I've renamed Construct to  DEconstruct because we do a
    lot of things and then destroy our  prods before release, just to make sure
    no one will try to rip my magic sources ! As for STAX, we're working on the
    sequel to "Zombie Apocalypse". It's called : "Zombies go to Disneyland" and
    it's gonna be another hit for sure !

STS : hmm that tells  a lot and  I feel that  we're coming closer to danger 
zone. Better move onto another topic : what are your so many projects since 
you seem so busy with creating new games ?

    Scheme : Well I already have started porting Mortal Kombat to the ST and so
    far about 40 sprites have been  ripped, not to  forget the title screen. In
    other words, the game development is  going well. Tho I'm willing to handle
    such ambitious project all alone, every  support is welcome ! At the moment
    I would need : a very  skilled ASM  coder, two or more gfxmen, one musician
    and maybe someone who  could rip  all gfx from the  original Mortal Kombat.
    Except for  these, you can say the  game is almost  completed and should be
    out around 2007. Btw an STe + CT60 is required for smooth game.

STS : oki I see, then maybe you have other projects ? Well we are all aware 
that posting crap, erm I  meant messages, on DHS  grabs a lot of your time. 
You mentioned a revamped version of SuperCars 2, what about it ?

    Scheme : were you some professional reporter, you would have noticed that
    I've released a  preview showing the  ripped title screen and a couple of
    other ripped graphics. Enough to show that the game will rock the Scene !
    But it will be more than a mere porting !

STS : yeah  especially since... SuperCars 2 was  released in 1991. (Silence 
suddenly invades the cold and deserted alley and nothing is to be heard but 
two cats fighting over uneaten sushi...)

    Scheme : erm, you sure ? Yeah of course I knew it ! But we plan to make it
    more like a porting of "Grand Theft Auto" now since the  basic game seemed
    too plain. For  STe owners  with a CT60  we even  plan to have 3D gfx with
    automatic smoothing ! For the others, fake  3D will be offered but you can
    still enjoy the game fully ! You'll be able to  pick up about 50 different
    vehicles, enter all buildings, talk with interactive non player characters
    and even rape old ladies on the pavement !

STS : uh ?? Sounds, well, interesting... Except for  the  last  part :) I 
cannot wait to be able to play the game ! Btw I forgot to remind you that 
only Falcon users can add a CT60 to  their machine (stupid typo from me I 
guess). What about the future then ? 

    Scheme : well, once we have shown the Scene that we rule (AGAIN!) we hope
    some shrines will be built  all  over  the world, so that  we feel enough
    feedback is here to go on. Now I'll tell you -another- secret but keep it
    to the dozen people who will read this lame magazine please.

STS : ok, tell us, we cannot wait (yawn yawn, it's getting late). You plan 
to port Space Invaders to the Falcon ? Something even bigger ? Crazier ?

    Scheme : yeah indeed, soon after  our GTA clone  is released we'll  really
    start with the  REAL STUFF. Ever  seen that lame Wolf 3D porting by Ray of
    tSCc ? We'll do better and directly port DOOM 3 to the ST ! I have already
    ripped the DOOM logo and also ripped 2 sampled fx ! No doubt we'll release
    the game long before that guy Ray !

STS : Oki now, really I think you  should stop using  your father's peecee 
and bore the grown ups with your stories. Be a nice kid and go back to bed, 
it's almost 9 at night ! Before you leave, please fill in the blanks in our 
customized brainstorming :

S : Super ME !
C : Creativity is my second name !
H : High ? On what ?
E : Extremely Super, that's ME !
M : ME, ME, ME ! I just love me so much !
E : Extremely super and even moooooore ! I rule this world ah ah ah !

O : Orgasm is what I feel when I read my postings on DHS again
F : Fucking is something I've never done but once with a hen

C : Cosmo is a LAMER ! I'm not Cosmo, I'm not him ! He sucks, I don't !
O : organizations, they want to get my skin, but they'll never get me !
N : no no, no no no no, no there's no limiiiiiiiit !
S : Suckers, too many in the Scene, I'd say about 95% of you guys
T : Triumph will be mine soon and you'll bow down on me !
R : Redemption I shall give you... or not !
U : Uranus ? Is it some body part having to do with the anus ?
C : CT60, surely the best modem for the STe !
T : Tea for two and two for tea ! (sorry but guys with moustache make me
          horny !)

STS : okiiiii... Erm what  to say now ? You  seemingly  have troubles with 
yourself  but  that  happens to a lot of teenagers so don't worry ! You'll 
eventually grow hair on some parts of your body and... Bah the rest you'll 
see soon enough. Anything you want to add before going to bed ?

    Scheme : be respectful  to me, without me you would be NOTHING ! I want to
    remind all of you that I am your  one and only  GOD ! Just wait another 10
    years and you'll see how many releases I've brought you ! Special greetings
    to my Mom.

Of course, this interview was a fake but somehow it openly reads what many 
of us think about the guy. I don't mean to insult Scheme but I'm gradually 
getting pissed off by his many announcments on DHS that lead to NOTHING !!
Except for a lame game labelled STAX, have we ever  seen real stuff by the 
guy ? And I'm not counting  compilations of so called hacked games, better 
download PHF stuff if you want real compils...

Feel free to send me nasty comments at but remember : 
internet can be a nasty tool when used by children ! :)

Alive 9