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Alive 9
                            CINEMA - "VAN HELSING"

Yet another monster  slasher? Not really, but later for this. As the people were
bombed with  massive advertisment for  this movie as  big posters hanging on any
walls and page  filling adverts  could be  found in many  magazines, I was quite
interested  to check out  the hype about this new movie that  tries to reanimate
the vampire and werewolf genre, and as finally some reviews in several magazines
weren't that bad either, we decided  to check it  out and  yesterday it was time
for another monster breakfast or better lunch...

We took the little cinema in Bad Klosterlausnitz therefore, not one of the usual
surround multiplex ass  kicking cinema centers but therefore quite cosy and over
all not  that expensive. Ok, we wondered  really a bit as just 6 visitors, incl.
us finally were going to watch the movie, but as we know that from former shows,
this hasn't to be a bad sign... as the movie  was running in  heavy rotation for
about 3 weeks, 2 or 3 times per day in a small city with about people...

So what about  the plot? Van Helsing is the hero in  here, everybody should have
heard of  him, as he is  one of the big vampire hunters in the "horror history",
but our hero is named  Gabriel instead  of Abraham (the original) and he isn't a
classical fighter  against the  evil, nope, he is  more like a James Bond of the
19th Century, and instead  of Goldfinger and  Dr.No he is hunting for Jekyll and
Hyde or Dracula and  his brides. And what was the Secret Service for James Bond,
is now a  religious order that  supports him with knowledge, jobs and very crazy
weapons and so the hunt starts very quickly, as Van Helsing is sent by his boss'
to Transylvania to  save Anna, the last survivor of her family, from Dracula and
his monsters...

I have to say that the  movie doesn't cares that much about developping a deeper
story but is stumbling from one action scene to the next and so we start a quite
entertaining  rollercoaster tour  through the  classical horror genre, including
dark places, high castles, mad  professors, cruel creatures, dumb village people
and so on. But  while the story goes  on very fast, I miss hardly any real shock
moments, the whole  thing comes  more or less along like a very fast mixed comic
action adventure, the bad asses are  too much overdrawn to be taken that earnest
in the  end, as said  above, the  story goes on  too  fast to take time for some
frightening and  shocking moments, Van Helsings little helper  tries to bring in
funny moments that finally are a bit to deplaced and overall kill the last small
serious points... Ok, I have  to admit, the monsters  are looking quite ok and I
especially like  the werewolfes but  in the end the movie never matches to offer
such cruel  moments  as "American Werewolf" for  example, that doesn't has to be
seen  as killer  horror movie as  well, but matches  it to  include several very
stunning scenes...

What to say? "Van Helsing" isn't  the killer  movie  it  tries to  be, it  isn't
shocking or frightening in any moment, as it is running too fast to
develop nailbiting moments and is too foreseeable in the end, too.
For kids the whole  thing may  be harder tobacco (you  can watch it
from 12 years on in Germany) but for mature people  and esp. horror
and fantasy  fans it  may be wasted time and money as the overdrawn
roles destroy any  horrible moment  right in  the beginning. In the
end just a James Bond conversion is left, technical on a quite high
level with all  the effects and computer generated scenes, monsters
and places, but nothing more...


Alive 9