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Alive 8

This was one of my stranger finds on trawling the net recently. Someone called
Jack Chick felt  the need  to  spread the word  of god some time ago.  He then
figured with his training as a  draughtsman,  he would  best serve the lord by
spreading the word in the form of black and white hand-drawn strip cartoons.
At no time did the lord tell him to give it a rest,  a result of which being a
huge body of work aimed at  helping the  "sinners",  ie. The 99% of the worlds
population not following his fairly narrow teachings,  to accept Christ and be

Jack Chick has produced an  interesting body of work,  much of it  viewable on
his website (  I'll show you some  select examples in a minute,
but for those devout Christians among the Atari faithful, I might add that his
religious  politics are  somewhat suspect,  and  seem to be living in the 17th
century!  For Grey and other fans of Pope John Paul,  I might suggest you look
away now. He has a big downer on Roman Catholicism!

"In the mid-1970's,  when he first began to  understand what Roman Catholicism 
really teaches,  he knew it was unscriptural.  He  also knew that to speak out 
against it would be unpopular, and hurt his publishing company."

"But  God  has  been  faithful  (as  He  always is)  and has  protected  Chick 
Publications over the years. Jack Chick has made it clear that if he had to do 
it over again, he wouldn't change a thing.  The letters from so many Catholics 
who have read Chick's anti-Catholic material  and have gotten  saved carry one 
theme:  "Thank you for loving us enough to tell us the truth!"  Those precious 
people make it all worthwhile." (!)

One  of his non-cartoon writings alleges an ongoing  Catholic plot to take over
the world,  describing  the  Nazi  Death  camps  as  a general attempt to purge
'heretics'  as  well  as the Jews!  (Erm, that  included  homosexuals,  another 
group who are in deep trouble, according to Chick!)

He's also not too keen on Moslems, Freemasons, Mormans etc.

So what you have  here is  someone  who is running  quite  happily  on his  own
internal  conspiracy  theory  logic.  All  the facts  fit neatly together,  the
disjointed parts of the case ignored.  He keeps it tantalisingly unclear, which
branch  of the  multi-faceted  christian faith he belongs to.  The tone  of the
site, and the  things he speaks  out against,  suggest a sort of  anglican King
James VI edition bias?

Anyway, let's take a look at some of those cartoons!

Owing to technical and space restrictions  within the  Alive environment, there
are not as many as I'd have liked to put in.  But I've done my best,  with some
carefully selected items.  (Carefully selected to allow  me to take the piss as
much as possible!)

These  strips  mainly  come  from a strip  called  "Happy Halloween".  All  the
classic Jack Chick thematic buttons are  pressed here.  A bunch of kids go into
a haunted house, and being scared shitless,  one of them runs out into the path
of a car and he is killed!  Unfortunately, 'Timmy' had not accepted the word of
god, uh oh, he's in trouble!

Do you get the feeling that  the first bit,  where Timmy becomes  aware of  his
mortality, was robbed off the movie 'Ghost'?  And I like the second bit.  where
he gets a  personal  orientation tour of hell itself!  "Here's your information 
pack and namebadge,  and if you  have any  further questions,  feel free to ask 
one of the minor demons thereabouts.."

Meanwhile,  back home, the others aren't getting the help and support that they
might expect to come to terms with the tragic loss of their friend!

Ooo-eer,  what a heartless bitch she is!  She's  one of those  people  who hang
around deaths door in hospital waiting rooms,  chanting at the  nearest tearful
close relative  that her  husband has  gone to  hell  for eternity.  "Eternity"
being defined as the length of time  it takes a butterfly wing brushing against
a steel ball the size of the sun,  once in a  million  years, to erode the ball
away  completely...  (Just how much lighter fuel did the writer of that need to 
sniff, to get this fantastical descrition of eternity in the first place?)

But in this strange alter-reality of the  Chick script, those  harsh words seem
to have the desired effect.  Grief gives  way  to  relief!  Poor  stricken dead
Timmy's soul has gone to eternal torment, but his friend goes down on his knees
and he is saved!

But hold on, you've forgotten about your dead friend already?


Meanwhile, in another strip,  fireman  Fred is on the  receiving end  of a very
unusual bedside manner..

(Fred is really thinking "Maybe this fucking ghoul will go away  if I  tell him
what he wants to hear!")

So there you have it, Jack Chick.

Maybe  if we get  a slow  releases  period before the next issue of Alive! I'll
stick some more of these in? ;-)

CiH, for Alive Mag,Dec '03

Alive 8