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Alive 7
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You  will remember the surprise smash hit of the Error in Line  party  third
edition.  Not  the reappearance of Defjam,  but something completely new and
different, the newly risen fake demo crew known as 'Dildo Fatwa'! Now you've
seen their first demo,  read about the epic struggle, in their own words, to
make  the thing in the first place.  Now it's time to find out a little  bit
more about them,  as Alive! magazine is proud to present the first exclusive
interviews with the members of Dildo Fatwa!
.::''':::'''::.     Scene Nick: Charcoal
.::'   '''   '::.    Real Name:  Clive Diamond-Geezer
::             ::    Group Role: Coder
(\(  \__    __/   )/)  Occupation: Rogue trader!
) ) (_a)  (a_)  ( (   Hobbies:    Restraining Ferlease!
\{       \       }/   Fav Colour: Cyan
(    (__)     )     Hardware:   Arati Faclon 030, soon to be 060!
__ ' <_______> ' __            
__.--'   \           /   '--.__       

Alive:  Nice  to  see you Charcoal,  it's cool of you to give us a moment of
your  time  to  tell us a bit about yourself,  can you start off  with  some
details of your origins on this planet, and how you came to be involved with
the Atari scene?

Charcoal:  Yeah,  grate  to  be  hear actually!  Right, yu want to kno how I
started off.  Wel I wasn't acktually born, but was created orijinally as the
dodgy  market  trader  karacter in the  late  eighties  Fedderation  against
Softwarez  Theft  adverts.  These  varioussly invited juvenilez  to  shop  a
teecher  or  dodjy market trader like myself for koppying or  selling  pirat
softwarez. The kid would be looking on my market stal for some computer game
or other, he wuld sai "These look like koppies, and this DEFFINITELY is!" at
wich  point,  I  would say back "Either buy somthing,  or NAFF OFF!" the kid
wuld retort "Your seling pirate koppies of software and I DON'T LIKE  THAT!"
Then  the  kid wuld report me to the authoritees and pocket a big  wodge  of
reward cash, justise being seen to be done and all that.

In  manny ways,  the rest of my lifestory has folowed in that tedious  trak,
trie to make a livving selling the fruit of the warez tree, get busted etc!

How  i  gott into the Atari scene,  was thankz to Ferlease,  who got me into
reselling Arati computors that had been 'liberated' from their former  homes
by Bill Mckracken, aka "The Cat", along with jewelery etc. Some of the arati
computors  stuck  with  me,  and I starrted to see posibilities  uther  than
making hard cash from them.  I got in tuch with other Atari sceners, such as
Mr  Punk,  who  starrted me off koding,  than in the last year, things realy
took of!

Alive: Why 'Dildo Fatwa' as a name? Even in a scene used to the odd and off-
centred, this goes quite a bit further than normal?

Charcoal:  We  pikced  it up off some sex advise page where the authore  was
teling someon to chill out with regards to a sexaul stimulant devise.  As in
"Don't hav a Fatwa over yur Dildo!" It realy suggests to us,  a 21st century
replacment for Bart Simpsun saying "Dont hav a Cowe man!" So Dildo Fatwa  it

Alive:  What  inspired  you to code for 'Bud teh Chud'?  Was this a tiny bit
ambitious for a first demo?

Charcoal:  The reasons for making Bud teh Chud ar ansered pretty well in the
Demo diary that I wrote in realtime on a day by day bassist! Stil, if I must
repete myself,  it was inspirred by a combinnation of a long-lost demmo that
Ferlease  made a long tim ago,  and also the awfulnes of the Meka  Simposium
party that we atended last year. We vowwed "Never agane!" And resolved to do
somthing good for this years Eror in Line! At the tiem, Ferlease was talking
about  trying to find the long-lost disk with the orijinal Bud the  Chud  on
it, but couldnt, so i thort, "Why not do an ascii tribute to it!"

Alive: Why Ascii? Surely this is somewhat off the mainstream for a demo?

Charcoal:  Asci  is  what Ferlease culd do besst!  I saw som of what he  had
done,  and thort this was the best way of doingg the demo!  The otehr factor
is,  that,  you havvent seen our atempts at koventional artworks! It is best
that  you  dont  see these,  otterwise arests and psykiatrik  reports  would

Alive: Doing a demo from scratch would not be the easiest task in the world.
Did you encounter any major problems when coding for it?

Charcoal:  Mainely  with  the music replay,  which did not want to wurk as a
modphile,  wich  kaused the sad loss of Pongo's orijinal and wikkedly  funny
soundtrak for the demo.  Maybee we can bring this bak in laters?  The musics
in Bud teh Chud that yu heard at EIL werr a bit of a last minit bodge.  Ther
was also somthing of a speed drop as we went along,  but we reoptimized soem
speed back in,  so the releese version of the demo shuld be quikcer than the
one  that was shewn at the parrty.  Maybee even okay to run on an STe?  We'l
hav to trie that soon.

Alive: You said in the end text of Bud teh Chud, that you would be back. Can
you tell us a bit more about your future plans?

Charcoal:  Yeh,  certanly  we're  going  on as a group.  Ther wil be  futuer
releases  from us,  but no firm ideaz yet.  We did promise soemthing for the
next Alternativ party in Finnland,  whic we'll keep to.  Our demo engine wil
gain further featurs and capabilitys, and future releases mai nott be purely
ascii-based.  We wil be thinking of beter support for the lower end, such as
the  STe,  but  also some special stuffs for higer end machines such as  the
Faclon.  Also, bear in mind I hav a CT60 on order, and the temtation to do a
Dildo Fatwa release using that, would be tooo mych to resist!

Alive:  It's  been  cool you sharing some thoughts with us,  thanks for your
time, and do you have any final words for our readers?

Charcoal:  Yeah,  we're  verry much deddicated to doing some good stuffs for
the futur of the Atari scene! We will be back, and you guys stai cool!

\/////\\\\\\\'         Scene Nick: Ferlease
'////  \\\\\\\         Real Name:  Ricardo Aloevera
/|'      ''' ||.        Group Role: Graphist (Ascii)
(\/ ____    ____\/)       Occupation: We're not sure?
) / ._ \__/ _. \(        Hobbies:    Shopping until dropping!
(=l(_@)l  l(@_)l=)       Fav Colour: Greeny-blue
: \____/ \\____/ :       Hardware:   Atari Falcon and STeem Emu on PC
\        \     /                                                       
'.    (__)   '                                                         
_. [  \______/ ] ._                                                     
.-'    \         /    '_                                                     
'        '(_____)'       '

Alive:  Hiya  Ferlease,  great  to  meet you here,  and we'd like to get the
lowdown on your life to date, and how you got mixed up with the Atari scene?

Ferlease:  I was born in Brazil, or perhaps it was Canada? My memory changes
from  week to week.  You can catch details of my life history on one of  the
satellite  channels  FerleaseTV-Live!  Anyway,  I started off with a  casual
interest  in  Atari,  when  I was hanging around with some Amiga  lamers.  I
stopped  hanging around with them after one sexually based  torture  session
too many! It is unfortunately true what they say about a lot of Amiga people
being well, "that way inclined" BTW.

I  met  loads of nice Atari people who didn't give me any  more  problematic
self-esteem  issues,  and  it is a pleasure to work with them.  Charcoal got
keen  on  doing  a  demo,  and chose my unseen megahit  (according  to  Time
magazine USA) 'Bud The Chud' to pay tribute to.  Charcoal is one of the best
scene mates that you could have!

Alive: Could you tell us a bit more about the original 'Bud the Chud'?

Ferlease:  Erm,  not  really,  it  came on a disk with 'Bud the Chud' on the
label, it was all a long time ago!

Alive: Really?

Ferlease: Yes, really! Can I have another question now!

Alive: Okay then, what got you interested in Ascii art?

Ferlease:  I  was down as the graphist for the new version of 'Bud the Chud'
but nothing I did on Degas Elite ever came out quite right. I was tapping on
a  plain  text  editor when a bunch of characters came together  to  form  a
picture of a little doggy thus:

)@ @(     /`
\ o /`````\
(") ___/ /
|/|/   \|\ 

Carbon and Pongo were dead impressed, and told me if I carried on like that,
they would do the demo as an ascii tribute. So I did!

Alive:  The  video  diary mentioned a brush that you had with some  computer
pornography  during the making of the demo,  how did you overcome that,  and
are you likely to encounter any more computer porno in the future?

Ferlease:  It was the others that snapped me out of the porno trance,  curse
them!  I was perfectly happy in there,  and I'm going back in,  as soon as I
can locate the website for ascii-dirtygirl-com again.Charcoal and Pongo keep
deleting it off my internet favourites list,  although Pongo took an initial
interest,  but  got bored when he realised it was the wrong sort of 'dirty',
as not in unwashed bra and pants!

Alive:  Assuming you're not lost in a porno-frenzy, can we expect more great
ascii artworks from you in the future?

Ferlease:  Sure,  I'm up for an appearance in the next demo that we do, soon
to be featured on the Discovery Channel in Romania!

Alive:  Thank you for your replies Ferlease,  and any final messages for the
rest of the scene out there?

Ferlease:  Where Dildo Fatwa goes,  I will follow,  as long as it isn't into
the front entrance of a male brothel!
/    \    _/
/   \    /   /                                                          
\  .::::::::::.          Scene Nick: Pongo Snodgrass
\.::'         \         Real Name:  Lord Smellington III
.:::  \____  __/        Group Role: Musician and smells
':::   {__@)(@_}        Occupation: Gas tester in coalmine!
\ :|       _ '--.__.,   Hobbies:    Auld Reekie!
)\':      (o._______/   Fav Colour: Brown trouser
(e      .     .;    o    Hardware:   Atari STe (Nicotine stained!)
\(    <_______>                                                     
`\   |\/\/\/;                                                       
'   <______>                                                       
(._  __ ._  _.__)                                                    

Alive:  Nice  to  see  you Pongo,  especially from behind  this  odour-proof
screen.  Can you tell us a bit about your origins,  and then how you came to
join the Atari scene?

Pongo:  Like  Charcoal,  I  wasn't  born  either.  I was created as a  comic
character in 1976, you can find out the gory details on here;

I had a few good years, both taking a supporting role in other peoples inane
adventures,  and  also  running  my own comic strip.  After the  decline  in
Fleetway Publications activities, I lay dormant for quite a few years.

You can see what I looked like back then in a non-ascii form!

Revival  came recently when the other two group members of Dildo Fatwa  were
seeking  a musician,  and for some unknown reason lurking deep in the psyche
of  the  Dildo  Fatwa  collective,  decided  to  reactivate  me!  The  'Lord 
Smellington' bit is a later conceit.

Alive: So how did you end up being the group musician?

Pongo:  Very  simply,  the  coding and graphics were already covered by  the
other two group members,  so only the music needed doing after that! A total
lack of talent proved to be no handicap,  either when doing the modfile,  or
the ziktune later on!

Alive:  Ah  yes,  we  were going to ask about that,  how do the two different
forms of musicmaking compare in your view?

Pongo:  With the modfile, it was fun using the weird samples, especially the
speech-synth generated ones.  I was disappointed that Charcoal was unable to
get it to work with the main part of the demo engine, and the soundchip tune
was done in a hurry. I think you can tell that!

Alive: I'm not quite sure how we can put this tactfully, your nick refers to
something of a personal hygiene problem! Can you tell us more about this?

Pongo:  I'm  Pongo  and  proud  of it!  The whole point of my persona  is  a
glorious  celebration  of Fetidness,  right from the earliest days in  Krazy
Comic!  Where  there  are clothes that have been worn for too long,  there's
Pongo  Snodgrass!  Where there is a cartoon cliched dustbin overflowing with
fishheads,  there's  Pongo!  And  where there is a bottom to be burped, once
more, there I am! If you can't deal with it, get noseplugs I say!

Alive: We guess that we'll see more smelly musical wizardry for future Dildo
Fatwa productions then?

Pongo:  Yeah,  I'm hoping to get more modfile based stuff in,  maybe scratch
and sniff versions of the demos and all!

Alive:  Thanks  for your odiforous input,  and do you have any final message
for the rest of the scene?

Pongo: We will be back soon, and guys, keep on smelling!

Interviews collected by CiH, for Alive! Mag,May 2003.

Alive 7