T H E
,_ ,_
| \ . _ ._ _ __ . _ ._ _._ | ) ._ _._ . ._
|. )| ( /\ |_) (_ |.\ | (_ | ) | |\ /\ |_) /\ | | /
|_/ | _) \/ |_) (_ |_/ | (_ | | | | \ \/ |_) \/ | | \._
,__ ,__ __
|[]| |[]| || |' |
||-'.__ ||-' |' _|| .__ |.
|| |[]| || || |[]| |[]| ||
'' --' '' -- --' --' ----
F R O M
__.
* ,-------.__--' _/ *
.'.-_,_ _____.--'
+ ( (___/ /_ _ __ .__ +
'._ _ __>.--._. ( `/ ) / o `.
* / / / @ | | | ... / ( .==' *
. . / / (____/\| |_|!|_\ \___/.
( ) / / \ / '
* `=_,/ ,______________-----// *
) ___--"
`. /'--'
'------'
Otherwise known as: "If it wasn't for those meddlin' ballet-tights clad and
strangely eighties-styled kids, I'd have gotten clean away with it!"
--------=============-------
Simon Bowell, the megalomaniac music mogul, has some surprise news for the
currently obedient Robotic Pop Idol.
._ __ _ ___ __ .~##~.
I need to spend )_ #-. ._#
some quality time ) {@ @}
with my new ) [ V ]
protege, Stinking )_,,... ( \<>/ ) \'--'-\ ,
Protoplasmic Obedient_) _/'-__-'\_ | | |
Pop Idol. So I'm )_- / . \ |_ |_ |_
packing you off to )_ / /' . |\ \ '_) |_) |*)
the New York Academy )/ / | . | \ \ __ __ __ __ __ __
of Performing Arts,_) \ \ ======== / / ((BECAUSE THE DRUGS))
also known as the_) \_\(#######/_/ ((DON'T WORK!))
Kids from Fame ) '|||'######///\ -| -- -- --
School! )-- -- ___________|##/_\##|_________'_________________________
-- -- - |##| |##| .`,'.
_'~~| |~~'_ (;.'.'} HISSS!
<__ _ ' '__ __> ',.' Bubble!
'
__ ___ ____ ___ __
And so, one swift transatlantic flight later.. / \
|Well, here I am, my \
_.~'. | | ##| | #####| |first day back at /
|:::| \ | | ##| .--'----- -. | #####| |school! /
|:::| | | | ##| | New York | | #####' \_ __ __ __ __ ___ /
_..~|-_|:::| | | | ##| | Academy | | #####| _:..__. /
....| ~.::| | | | ##| | of ' | #####| /__ \ _/
....| |::| | | '___' 'Performing| '______' |@> o "|
... ' |::: _.~| ===== | Arts | ======== \__ _.|
... | |::| |;;;| | : .--) |#|/
... : |::| |;;;| '__________'___ \___/ #|
... | :::| |;;;| _|____ ____ |_ |_ /'/--'
... | |::\ |;;;| _|___ ___ ______|_ |_ \ \ /
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | _|_______ _______ __|_ |_ \ []|\
/ |__|_______ ________ ___|___|_____ | []|/______
____________/ '~[]'
/ _ \ />/
\___ /|\ ____ | | |
\\ |:| / /--=='='
\\ '.' / '----'-'
.\\______/_______________________________________________________
, `----'------ --------------'--------------- ------'------------'
. ' . . ' . , '
With the other new intake students, he is given the famous welcome speech by
hardnut dance teacher, Lydia Bitch!
| ' |
' ,sss, _ ___ ______ ___ _ | |
| .ssSSSss. ( Fame costs! ) | .
| ss\_ _/ss | And here's where | | |
| sS{@ @}Ss | you start paying!| | |
| s( v )s | - In sweat, with | ' ' ,_ ____ ___ ___ __.
: \<_>/ | small model bears) | | / \
| _.`-'._ | and in medium | | | |Wow! I didn't think|
| ( ) | denomination | | | |it was going to be |
| |~|( )( )~| ( banknotes! ) . ' |that hard! ____ __/
' \\ // --- ___ ----__-- | | \___ ____ _/
| \\_._//. | |___ /
|____ (\=I=/ ) ______________________________| _:..__.
/ | I\ | /__ \
/ : |I | : ___ |@> o "|
_|_|I |_|_ ------- \_ _.|
/--_:I :_--\ ============ ._ _. ._) |#|/
:. I --------- \ / \___/ #|
'(@ '.' Tap tap! --- | | /'/__'
_\ Ss - /\\ //\ \ \ /
<_. sSSSSs \|||/ / \ / \ \ []|
_/ sSSSSSSs ( ) \ v / |[]|
And Robotic Pop Idol's worst fears are confirmed, as he is set to work in the
dance class right away!
___ ___ __ __ _ .___ __ __ _ ' . `
,sss, ( MOVE YOUR ASS ) \But I'm not_\ . _.;..:._ ,
.ssSSSss.| ROBOT-BOY! | /naturally / / __ __ \ ,
ss\_ _/ss(____--____---_) \graceful | )<@.||.@>: .
sS{@ @}Ss / /like the |--== \ Oo /
s( v )s _/ \Boogaloo/ ('(__)') '
\(_)/ /girls! | _ '-\__/-' _
_.`-'._______:_ , , \______/ /--X / \ X--[_][][]<
( |------= \ /\ / []\ \ / /
|~|( )( ) \\// '\ /\ [] , || ,
||\ / )) \\/ [] | '' |
||'===='. | ))\/' / \ '~~~[]~~~'
/::( v ) / \ \ \ /\ /
____ \ : / ___________ \ / _____ /\ _________________ / /__| | ___________
==== | | | =========== { } === _/ /_ ================ `.=`. '=' ==========
---- |_|_:. --------- ----------------- /__/ - \_\ --------
___ / /\ \ _______ C'mon, it's easy!! _________________________________
'==' =='
Eventually, he is released from his balletic torment, and allowed to go on to
the next class. _____________ __________ ____________
___ ___||_ ___ ___, | |. -:Hallway Notice:- .|
/That was horrible!/ | . ================== |
_.;..;._ \Ms Bitch said if I\ | |NO students are allowed'
/ __ __ \ /forgot my leggings/ : |in the hallways without|
)<@.||.@>: \next time, she'd/ | 'a valid hall pass! |
\ Oo / /make me do it in\ | | ;
('(__)') \my pants! Now / | :Failure to produce a |
_ '-\__/-' _ /where in this / O | |hall pass on demand may|
/--X / \ X--\ \hallway is my \ ' |result in severe loss .
\ \ / / /next semester?/ | |of privileges and also |
[], || ,[] \____ _-_ __ _/ | 'certain internal organs|
[]| '' |[] || | |. .|
[]'~~~[]~~~'[] || | -----------------------
/> \ /\ / <\ || |
_____ | |__| | __________||-------------|_______________________________
:::::''=' '='':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::: /_/ |_| ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:::::. .::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
But before he can find his way there, trouble appears from just around the
next corner!
________ ______
.---===---. | NO HALL PASS? |
(___________) |PREPARE TO DIE!|
|##=###=##| |MOTHERFUCKER! |
/ -U- \ /'-- ------- ----'
.___ \_ ,___, _/ ___.
__ -__---___ /= \_( (\/\) )_/ =\
\Aaagh! Shit!\ klik! ( '-----' )
/They've got / _'_ / | ( \ / ) |
\ROBOCOP as / / _ \ ) |" ___/ \___ "| '
/the hall \ ||O||\ / )| \ / |' )
\momitor! / \___/\\ / / | ' ' || |
`---\----' \__\/\\#| / \ /| |
.__..:_ . \ _\\#\_/ ===="""""""==== |Z_|
/ __\ ' | | .##, ( ::.. ..::) \__/
|" o <@| , | |/ \/ ' \ / ' #'##
|._ _/ | || | || | ##
\|#| (_. '_' | . || . |
|# \___/ | . || . |
'__\'\ ' '' '
But luck is on the Robotic Pop Idol's side, as Robocop's Windows ME tactical
weapons edition upgrade falls apart at the crucial moment!
: ________ ______
' .---===---. ' |ERROR! ERROR! |
__ ________ _____ (___________) |CAN NOT WRITE |
/Phew! That's \ |~~~~~~~~~| |CACHE FILE TO |
|lucky! Robocop | ': / -U- \ /|DISK! PLOT !
'has some of the | .___ \_ ,___, _/ ___.|IMPLAUSABILITY |
|most impressive | /= \_( (...) )_/ =|BUFFER FULL! |
|lethal force on . ' ( '-----' |FLOPPY DEVICE |
|the planet, but | | ( \ / ) |NOT RESPONDING!|
|also some of the | : ) |" ___/ \___ "| |SHUT DOWN AND |
\crappest software!/ | )| \ / |' |REBOOT! |
'----- ------ ---' | || ' ' || '---------------'
.__..:_ / ': | |\ /| |
/ __\ / |_Z| ===="""""""==== |Z_|
|" o <@| \__/ ( ::.. ..::) \__/ ::'
|._ ._/ |==|# ' \ / ' #'##
\|#| \_. \''/# | || | ##
|# \___/ '|__| | . || . | :'
'--\'\ ' (__) | . || . | '
\ / / ' || | || | '
|[] / || | ____ || ___ |
|[] | '' '' '''' ''
Robotic Pop Idol then discovers he was not alone whilst all this was going on!
.-------- --------. .---- ---- ---- ---.
.------ -------. | He's Brunei, the | | And I'm Freeroy, |
| Wow! That was | ( mop-headed muso. ) ( the suspiciously )
( way cool! You ) | I'm Cocoa, the | | overdeveloped one, |
| sorted out | ( girl who lives ) ( with a physique )
( old Robo-Cop ) | to dance on car | | designed for adult |
| a treat! | ( bonnets! ) ( themed movies! )
'-- -- -- ----' '-- ----- ---- --' '---- -------- ----'
\ . .SsS. | .;#####;. /
.sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. / #__ __# /
.$$$$$$$$$. ssS_. ._SSs. ( @} {@ )
s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs \' ^ '/
'ss \ ss' ssS\ V /sSs `\<__>/
( <_> ) Ss '<_>, ss' .-. `__'.-.
..`---'.. ,_.`- ._, / \
/=========\ ( ) ( ( .) .) ) )
/=/|======|\\ | |( )( )\ \ \ )\ /\ \
'/=/ '======| \\ ( |\._._./\ \ \ \ (______) \ \
||| '=={}==' /\\ |_|( ) \_\_ /\\\(######) /\\\
| . | /\\\| v \ \\\ |##||##|
| || | | |\ \ |##||##|
And now they've got together, Robotic Pop Idol and his new chums decide on a
traditional 'Kids from Fame' style show-stopper.
.___ _________ ____. .______ ____ _. _:..__.
.SsS. ( Hey Robo, tell you ) / Yeah, well \ /__ \
.sSSSSSs. | what. Let's do a | | we're gonna | |@> o "|
sSS_. ._SSs ( show together! ) \ live forever! / \_ _.|
.sS{@ @}sSs '----- ------------' '---- --- ----'\_ ._> |#|
sS\ V /sSs _/ \____/ #|
Ss '<_>' ss' /'/__'
`-' \ \ /
But in a piece of time honoured near-end-of-episode cliched script-writing,
disaster strikes!
____ _____.________________ ________________________
/\ / \ \| |
| \| __ _. _ __ __ __ ._ | \
|_ |--'. * / /\ / | /__ |_\ | /_
/ | | | \ '--' \ | \ | \ ' |
| .|__/ |._/ | | _/ ' -- ' ' * |
' |
| Kids from Fame end of episode Plot Sickener form B/0038 |
| '
| TICK ONE ONLY: |
| |
| Cocoa's tights split = |
\ Freeroy is 'Outed' = |
| Debbie does Brunei = |
| Titanic sinks (again) = _\
| Siege of Leningrad = /_
| Central Europe floods = / |
| Saddam is insane! = / |
| . End of the World! = \/ |
\ |
/_/|__________'\_______________________/__________________/
#########################################################
And it's a biggie! The grim reaper himself has put in an unwelcome appearance!
. * . /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
. . / /
. .-__-., /\ - YOU ALL WANT LIFE? WELL LIFE COSTS, -
. \ .-_ // \ \ AND HERE'S WHERE YOU START PAYING! \
/ /* *\ //\ \ - -
. .' ; ^ | // \ | \ - IN BLOOD, WITH LARGE TEA-URNS \
: \===' // | | - FILLED WITH CLASS-A DRUGS, AND -
, | '_-' // |/ \ WITH ANY LOOSE CHANGE THAT YOU \
/ / | // - CAN FIND DOWN THE BACK OF THE SOFA! -
* '| \ \ |\'// + \ \
\ \ \| \/ , - HWAAR HWAAR HWAAR! MORTALS!! -
:' ` \ \ \
| \______\ . \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
| // /
. | // | .
| // | .===. I-I-It's the end of the world |_
| // ' |_ |_ as we know it! |*)
\ // | |*) |*) \ : / -
| - ' \ | /
/_/__.__\__.\ '
+ _ooq=""''$b$_&?b\_ And before you ask,
* .-`^" "'o |&M:MMMMMMMMHo_ no I didn't draw
o/' -$Mb#MMMMMMMMMMMMMMHo. this globe. Do you
. /' .ooHP*&R&MMMMMMMMMMMMMM?. think I look
, .' `MRbod?|'`+?##9MMMMMMMMMH\ like a
.` .,MMMMMMH#od##obdMMMMHMMMMMMb maschochist
. - ?MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM$HMMH$ZP*HMMb on a diet!?
? |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM|9MMMMP "M6\
+ .- dMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMb]M*' |R | . +
1| `HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMd#| ?,:
. MH, ``*""'"*#MMMMMMMMMMMMMM* '` .
MM6_ |MMMMMMMMMMMMH" :
MMMMMb. "MMMMMMMMMMT - .
. ' &MMMMM' |MMMMMMMMMH `
!MMMMb .HMMMMMMMMM+.?& : + .
. + TMMMM *MMMMMMMP dH' . :
9MM' `MMMMMMP' "' . .
9ML `MMM#' -
It seems that the jig is up, but our kids from Fame aren't at all downhearted!
Not one little bit!
.-------- --------. .---- ---- ---- ----.
.------ -------. | Never mind Brunei| | Sure Cocoa, just |
| Well are we | ( let's defy fate, ) ( as soon as I've )
( downhearted? ) | and DO THE SHOW | | finished adding |
| Are we scared?| ( RIGHT HERE!!!-*- ) ( water to this )
( I certainly ) | Are you with me | | sachet of dehydrated|
| will be! | ( Freeroy!? ) ( backing orchestra! )
'-- -- -- ----' '-- ----- ---- --' '---- -------- -----'
\ . .SsS. | .;#####;. /
.sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. / #__ __#
.$$$$$$$$$. ssS_. ._SSs. ( @} {@ )
s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs \' ^ '/
'ss \ ss' ssS\ V /sSs `\\__// . ' .
( (_) ) Ss '<_>, ss' .-. `__'.-.__-__/_ . .
..`---'.. ,_.`- ._, / ____ = |
/=========\ ( ) ( ( .) .) )/ |__| '
/=/|======|\\ / /( )( )\ \ / )\ / ' . . '
\=\'======|// / / \._._./\ \ / / (______)
/\\'=={}=='\ /_/_ ( ) \_\_ `/// (######)
| . | \\\ / v \ \\\ |##||##|
| | \ \ / / \ \ |##||##|
| | \ \ \ \ / / \##||##/
And so, we're onto the grand finale to close this episode down! Is it really
the end? Will they be back, Oh, I'm sure I can arrange something! (grin!)
.'`.`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`'`.'`'`'.`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'`.'``.
' \ / \ / '
. \/\/ E'RE NOT GONNA LIVE FOREVER!! \/\/ E'RE GONNA LEARN HOW TO DIE! '.
'' '`
.'`.`..`'| |'.`.`.'. `..'`.`'`.'.'`'``.`''``.'`.` '``.`.\ /'`'``.'
| | | | | | | |
|/ \ | | | |/
. \| .sSs. .;#####;. / _.;..;._
.sSSSs. .sSSSSSs. #__ __# / __ __ \
.$$$$$$$$$. ssS~. .~SSs. ( @} {@ ) )<@.||.@>:
s$$(6 6)$$s SsS{@ @}sSs ::_ \' ^ '/ \ Oo /
-- 'ss \ ss' ----- ssS\ V /sSs/-/ ------ `\<__>/ ---------- ('<__>') ---
( \_/ ) sSs '<_>, ss' / .-. `__' .-., _ '-\__/-' _
..`---'.. _\____,_.`- ._,/ / / \ /--X / \ X--\
/=========\ =|_____ _/ ( ( .) .) )\ ) \ \ / /
/=/|======|\\ (( )( )) \ )\ /( / [], || []
'/=/ '======| \\ \._,_./ \ \ (______)/ / []| ''>[][]
|||__'=={}=='_/\\___. ( ) /\\\(######)\\\ []'~~[]~~~'
------------------\/| / v \ |##|\##\ /> \ / \ /
Maxi-Moog | | / / \ \ |##| \##\ | | | |
__________________//| \ | / / \##| \#\ '=' '='
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' || _\| _|/ _-|#| \#\ /_/ \_\
|| || (___'(___' /__-__| / |
|| || '--'
.' '. ''
- SIZZLE! - ............. _ _
' ' :SYSTEM ERROR: ________ \/ _______
.---===---. :# 3670 ! : (AAAAAGH!) / \ (NOOOOO!)
(___________) '''''''''''' ,sss, -------- /\\ //\ -------
|##=###=##| .. .ssSSSss. / /\~\ / \ / . '' .
/ ~U~ \ .:::.. ss\_ _/ss .:::. \/ / \ @/ /. ~~FRY!~~
\_ ,___, _/ .::::: sS{@ @}Ss '::' \/ \/ ;:. ' .. '
( ( (___) ) ::: s( v )s :' \\ // .::::.
' '-----' ' ' ' \(_)/ ' ' ) ' \ / :' ( ' (
) ( ( ' ( ' `_' ( ( ^ ) ' '
( ) ( ' ) ' ) ( ' ' ( ' ' ( ) (
' ' ( ' ( ' ) ' ) ' ) ( ' ) ' ' ( '
`) ` ' ) ) ` ( ) ) ` ( ` ( ( ` ) ' ( ( ` ) ) `( ` ) )
'``'`''``'''`'`'`'`'`''``'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`''``''``''``'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
######### #
# # #### # #
# # # # #
# #### #### ### #### #### #
# # # ### # # # # #
# # # #### #### # # #### *
Next episode! - The Charity Telethon!
Tssk, more awkward questions! - CiH, for Alive! Mag,October '02
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