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Alive 5


We all know you are  busy and we are not :) That's surely  why most of you 
enjoy reading another issue of aLiVe, UCM or Chosneck but cannot help with any 
kind of contribution. Now let's see what good reasons you had. No one is aimed 
at, this is just a funny piece of article (maybe to lighten my own pressure ;) 
and I hope it'll make you laugh and not feel offended. If not, don't read it.

    1. Sorry I didn't send you my article but I thought your magazine was dead.
Well from the start I thought it would die eventually ! Yeah I know, since then
many issues have been released but I was sure THIS ONE  would not come out. You
know I have some extra sensorial powers. What kind ? Erm I SEE DEAD PEOPLE !

    2. I can't see why you didn't receive my article since it was emailed some
hours, erm days  ago ! Your  email ? Sure  let me  check my address  book. Yup
that's it : What you're STS ? You sure ??? Erm sorry then I
think my contrib will be used in  the next UCM... (the same goes for Moondog's
part except that ppl will say they sent their contrib to me or to Grey :)

    3. Sorry but completing my article took longer than expected and I wanted
to make sure it was just perfect. But I will keep my word and you will get my
Error In Line '99 report any moment now ! (or maybe for the next issue)

    4. I'd love to write something for you but I just cannot write... I cannot
speak either and I'm almost blind too ! Urgh got to leave I think I'm having a
heart attack ! I'll mail you later...

    5. Of course I could write an article but I've been too busy with my 2 year
delayed demo. It's almost finished now and should be out any moment !! That's a
number one priority (I won't even go to toilets before it's completed !).
Strange thing is that in the meantime there were three ATARI parties and the 
demo wasn't shown (maybe they were busy writing stuff for us ??)

    6. I don't want to write for  you, since I think writing is old fashioned.
We should work on a mental issue that would be spread  through Atarian minds !
It would take less harddrive space and loading will be reduced to nothing. I'm
waiting for your spiritual shell now !

    7. My article was done and safely saved to a floppy when my Pitbul entered
the room and savagely jumped  at my throat. Doctors  say I will be up within a
couple of months, but  the beast swallowed the only copy of my article. If you
want I can try to get what's left of the floppy  next time my dog drops a shit
but you'll have to reformat and make some corrections.

    8. Zorry but you kno my Anglish izn't vairy good ! But waite much hours and
I think that withe the bier I'm drinking and ze weed I'm smokinge I can wriiite
something for u. What's youre name allready ? Hello ? Am I actuALLY talking too
someoNE ??? HelLOOOOOOOOOO ?????????,,

    9. I don't know what I could write about... Actually  I don't even have an
Atari, nor do I know what an Atari is. I thought this channel was about porn !
Don't you have some  at hands ? I'm so horny ! If I write an article (whatever
the subject) will you send me some porn ? I like stuff with animals.

   10. Well I had written some articles on my PC but windows crashed and I had
to reformat my  harddrive. But in the  meantime I  can collect  stuff from the
internet, you'll just have to  reformat it, add colours and piccies and add my
name to the writers list. Good luck and keep up the good work !

That's it for  this time ! I  could give  names for - almost - every excuse 
mentioned above but that wouldn't be fun. I just wanted you to share the fun of 
the situation that keeps every new issue delayed. Have a nice reading !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- STS

Alive 5