23
STUPID WAYS
OF
DYING
Here comes a funny article I read in one of my brother's smart magazines.
Of course this is just a translation of such article. As they say in action
movies : don't try it at home kids ! :)
Source : MAX magazine, October 2001 issue pages 26-27
Never Play With Guns !
USA, 1997 : Robert, 37, wants to show his wife that none of the 70 weapons
he owns is harmful. Later his wife said : he just put that gun on his temples,
thinking it was unloaded. He should have made sure earlier.
USA, 1997 : Georgian policeman Jeoffrey strives to prove that bullet proof
jackets can resist knifes. His partner, Nick who naively voluntueered for the
experiment died from deadly wounds.
USA, 1994 : Fed up with life, a man decides to jump off the 10th floor of
the building he lives in. His deadly fall is suddenly stopped, a few floors
below, by the net used by the glass cleaning people. Unfortunately he's killed
by a jealous husband with a bad sight who wanted to punish his wife.
USA, 1997 : Gregory loves weapons, still he doesn't really know their ways.
As he checks his gun barrel with a lighter, a bullet is shot and kills him.
Sweden, 1994 : During the soccer (football ?) World Cup, a woman really gets
mad at her husband. Actually he wants her to stay up late at night and watch
the Sweden-Cameroun match on TV. That's when she really grows furious and stabs
him to death with scissors.
Never Get Too Close To Water Even Tho It's Vital To Life
USA, 1999 : A group of Californian christians decides to learn to walk on
the water like Jesus did. Their leader keeps training in his bathroom until one
day he slips on a piece of soap, hits the bathtube headlong and finally gets
drowned in 20 cms of water.
Greece, 1995 : A diver is found dead in the middle of isolated mountains. The
poor guy was indeed swallowed by a water bomber and then released with a few
thousands liters of water on a woodfire in this mountain.
USA, 1993 : During a canoe race a competitor flips over and stays under water
for 15 seconds. He gets back "on track" and goes on... It takes three hours
before the man falls on the floor, plain dead. His lungs are actually filled
with water.
Always Keep In Mind That Domestic Detergents Are Unhealthy
Russia, 1999 : Two soldiers out of duty decide to get drunk. As they run out
of vodka, they come up with the brilliant idea that they could drink some brake
liquid. For sure the last drink they ever had.
Egypt, 1996 : A woman aged 22 accidentally swallows up some ants. Out of
panic, she rushes to a bottle of insecticide and gulps it up.
Romania, 1996 : Juliana wants to pick up some califlor from the barrel where
she's been stocking it for fermentation. The scent turns up so strong that the
woman faints, falls right in the barrel and gets drowned.
Stay Away From Everyday Life Tools
Germany, 1997 : The day before the factory closes for national celebration,
two workers, Frauke and Lech, are having a "good" time in the lift. The next
second it stops because of a power cut. All employees then leave work. They are
found dead four weeks later.
USA, 1998 : In a hotel, a young woman has just had a shower... Still wet and
barefoot, she moves to the door of her room and inserts her electronic card.
Too bad has she die from electric shock !
USA, 1997 : A 71 years old Texan hires a hardworker but distracted charwoman.
Actually she kills her boss as she plugs off his breathing machine beacuse she
wanted to plug in her vacuum cleaner.
Don't Mess Up With Gravity Laws
Italy, 2000 : A young Romeo starts climbing up his lover's balcony. At
hearing a noise the girl, goes to the window and opens the shutters hence
causing the man lose balance. He ends up dead on the grass.
England, 1998 : Two workers are on a building site. These supposedly skilled
guys are working hard, through the concrete floor, several meters above the
ground. Unfortunately once the hole is almost looped, they realise they are
just sitting on the cut part... Too bad.
USA, 2000 : A couple of lovers have been smoking weed, maybe abusively as
they fall asleep on their hotel roof. The young woman doesn't even wake up as
her body rolls down the slope and crashes to death on the floor.
Your Heart Shouldn't Be Illtreated !
Canada, 1995 : After he's tried to kill himself, a prisonner has to meet the
jail psychiatrist who thrives to cheer him up. As he feel poorly helped, the
prisonner goes mad at the doctor and yells at him until he gets heart attack.
He dies in front of the doctor.
Japan, 1998 : Sachi and Tomio are going to have sex for the very first time
tho they've been married for 14 years ! It's too much pressure and emotion for
them and they die of a heart attack.
USA, 1993 : A woman attends her sister's burial when suddenly the latter
wakes up to life ! Her sister cannot stand the surprise and has a heart attack.
Be Careful... Well Shit Happens :)
USA, 1983 : Mike is shooting a report on excessively low tunnels. The truck
he stands on is effectively too high... as his head is snatched up !
USA, 1999 : After too much booze, a man decides to go to a "club" with naked
women shows. He tears of one of the dancer's suit buttons and strangles when he
tries to eat it. Gulp!
Australia, 1998 : Asa, 68, is very proud to show his home grown vegetables at
the local fair contest. He's come there with a giant tomato to grab the first
prize ! He doesn't rank first and kills himself out of disappointment.
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