News Team Current issue History Online Support Download Forum @Pouet

01 - 02 - SE - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14

Alive 2

Scene-themed accessories for the modern lifestyle!

Here   we  consider  the  ultimate  in  lifestyle  themed  mail   order 
catalogues,  as it is about time that we got demo scene based artefacts 
and accessories, especially customised just for us. This is a sample of 
what this might just look like?

The Nokkiyum MS-50 Modphone

The  first in a new generation of Mobile phones,   which dispenses with
the  sub-ZX Spectrum sounding monotone ring tones.  This adds in a  new
simcard  with a bit more memory,  and a central CPU with an added Amiga
Paula soundchip emulator. The built-in software includes a mobile phone
adapted  version  of the Protracker playback routines.  This model  can
store  up to six tunes.  Your favourite acid-jazz classic tune from the
mid-nineties  can  be loaded in via  the  two-way  headphone/microphone
jack. It comes in several different colours, including Exceptions Amiga
demo, and Helsinki Sunset!

Ordering Price - 150 EUR

The Ewewrecksson BFG4000 Wadphone

A rival Swedish company attempts their own push for the style conscious
demo  scene mobile phone owning niche,  with the Wadphone.  This stores
your  favourite levels from the famous classic arcade game 'Doom',  and
allows  you to play these in a crude and grotty ZX81-esque style,  on a
tiny LCD display. A Demon skin carrying case is included in the special
introductory price!

Ordering Price - 200 EUR, or 250 Swedish Meatballs!

The Fony PS-Watch

The newest mobile adaptation of Playstation technology hits the streets
shortly!  Make your sad Colour Gameboy mates puke with envy! The entire
Playstation  hardware  has been compressed into a unit the  size  of  a
wrist-watch!  A  state of the art minature colour screen mounted on the
dial  has been included.  At time of writing,  Fony are still trying to
resolve some reliability issues with the forearm-mounted CD-ROM holder,
so release has been delayed for six months.

Ordering Price - 15000 Yen (for a minimum order of 1 Dozen)

The Hanging Mouse-mat of Babylon (by Garden of Eden Ltd)

This is possibly the ultimate accessory for the style and eco-conscious
scener.   A  multilayered  inspiration,  with  exotic  tropical  plants
trailing from the balconies, made from authentic rubble dug up from the
5th century  B.C.  !! Needs extra-long trailing cable (optional). Comes
with a free idol to worship, whilst stocks last!

Ordering Price - 30 EUR, or three goats and a first-born child!

The MFI Eezi-Float(TM) Inflata-Desk!

Those brave Netherlands folk are well used to passing large volumes  of
water,  but  everyone else seems to have had some sort of urinary tract
or  more general flooding problems recently.  If you are sick and tired
of  dragging  heavy  computers and accessories onto  higher  and  drier
ground,  then  the  inflata-desk  most definitely is for you.  It is  a
normal  computer  desk,   but  cunningly  adapted  to  use  car  airbag
technology in the event of a flood.

It  can  be  user-activated at the press of a  discreet  button  hidden
underneath, or automatically triggered by rising flood water touching a
sensor.  It  has  been cleared to support the weight of a  desk  tower,
monitor and printer,  and allow you to carry on computing,  even whilst
the floods increase.  WARNING! User may risk electrocution! It comes in
shades of cinnamon, and Mr Pink.

Ordering Price - 50 EUR, or ten sandbags

The Dassault/BAe/Viggen Quantum D.U. Drive!

This is a pristine ex-military NATO issue replacement floppy disk drive
mechanism.  Its  special  feature  is  that it is  made  from  depleted
uranium.  Therefore,  it  is  half  the  price of  conventionally  made
mechanisms,  twice as reliable, and gives off occasional clouds of low-
risk-to-health  glowing  dust  when in operation!  It  is  particularly
useful for running back issues of Toxic Mag!

Ordering Price - Twelve 12 Gauge shotgun shells

The FriedBits Soft GmbH Scene Euro Route Finder CD-ROM

Welcome  to the latest interactive Europe-wide route finder and  atlas.
This  uniquely  takes in the locations of many famous and  less  famous
scene  parties,  past  and present.  It can be filtered to search for a
route and location,  according to relevance to a particular scene, such
as  PC  or  Amiga  or Commodore 64.  The Atari  related  bits  are  not
compatible with a native ST or Falcon,  although the package as a whole
will run on an emulated ST. A search for the UK revealed the way to get
to Bradford, in 1992, and little else!

Or go to our website - Needs  Java-enabled

Ordering Price - 40 EUR, or twenty Lost Blubbs

The Lucky Charm of St Niccc - from the Ancient Order of Chronos

I recently found myself bumping headlong into a traditional Dutch token
of  luck in Atari coding related ventures.  It is wearable,  a bracelet
shaped  just  like an ST News disk-label,  but furnished with only  the
finest  fake  gemstones.  This charm goes active once every ten  years,
usually  in  the period just before Xmas.  The end result is  amazingly
good luck for coding parties, with the initials 'S', 'T', 'N', 'I', and
ending in 'C', several times!

An  interesting comment from the founder of St Niccc tells you all  you
need  to  know.  "I'm amazed it still works for Atari people after  all
this time,  after all, Bill G. the Antichrist has my nipples chained to
a  copy of Word for Windows,  for He is my master now..."  R.Karsmake..
Erm, an unknown Dutch former scene diskmag person.

Ordering Price - Two bottles of Heavenly Divine Fluid

------Order Form--------

So you have sad and deficient lives, and feel a real need to order some
of this stuff.  Well, stick your pen down here, and give us your credit
card  number,  and you soon won't have any outstanding monthly balances
to look out for,  as we'll have copped the lot! The prices on offer are
a  very rough guide only,  and we're talking rougher than swallowing  a
power-sander, to be brutally blunt here.

Card no _______________________  Expiry Date __/__/__ Visa/Mastercard

All goods supplied will take their own sweet time getting to you,  just
like  everything  else on the scene.  What do you think this  is?  Some
reliable commercial enterprise or something!

Alternatively you can order online at our website on:-

No returns, no guarantees, so tough!

CiH - Alive! Magazine, Jan '01

Alive 2