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Alive 1

-------------------------- by ST-pissed-off-survivor -----------------------

 Ever since the Atari scene has existed and especially when it started surviving
 while seeing how many of its members were quitting, we have always defended our
 identity, taking it as far as possible from the PC mentality. Most PC so called
 "sceners" are nothing more than lame gamers, they brag around with their sooooo
 powerful machines (someone said that a powerful car symbolized the feeling of a
 sexual inferiority ?) and look down on anyone else who is not good enough to be
 a decent PC user.

 Now, I'll tell you what : somedays I feel like some  of us have copied these PC
big headed suckers  and that makes  me so sick ! I am one of the guys who still
 use and work on an Atari because of so many caring friends around...There is no
 concept of fame, money or crap like that. Who could  actually pretend be a star
 while he's still using a system that only gathers a few thousands followers ? -
 surely less if we only take "active" people into account - you tell me !

 I'm not questionning the trust I have put in some people, especially the people
 who help us so much with keeping a last diskmag alive. Ok we don't always agree
 but as intelligent  beings we always  manage to find a  compromise or to accept
 other people's views. These are  people who deserve - in my opinion - the title
 of Atarian, people like paranoid, evil, candyman, tao, havoc and many others...

 But... some people are changing  minds so easily ! Some gfxmen said that former
 UCM shells "sucked", other guys claimed that UCM was a pussy  mag or they threw
 stones at the ones who used PC to get connected (I do use an old P 100, does it
 mean I'm a traitor ?), strange things happen during parties compos... It sounds
 so much like PC bullshit !

 I have another  example in  mind, an  example  which  pushed  me to  write this
 article. People who witnessed "our" chat on irc will easily clear the blanks, I
 don't want to do it myself, since I am sure it could have  happened (and surely
 did) with other people.

 Some time ago I was asked to  design a logo for the second  edition of a famous
 Atari party. It is true to say  that for a while (actually two weeks) I did not
 answer the mail I received and wasn't much into switching my STe on :((( Then I
 realized how  long it had been and, feeling ashamed, I decided to mail back and
 started working on the logo. I had opted  for an "industrial" style ; meaning a
 barcode (vertical  motive) cut in the middle  by the logo (horizontal  motive).
 After a few unsuccessful tries, I managed to  get something ok. I can  show you
 this picture since it's used as cover pic for this first issue of aLiVe!

 I sent it to my "employer" who first replied  that he liked it :) But some days
 later I received another mail reading that "the other organizers think that the
 logo letters  look  primitive. Their  style should  be more  complex especially
 compared to the complexity of the barcode". My  first reaction  wasn't good and
 considered, I admit it. I said it  was meant to be  primitive, to offer  such a
 contrast with the  barcode that it would naturally be highlighted. Also the led
 display style was of  course related  to computers. Changing the  letters style
 and the barcode background  would wipe out the  whole thing  in my opinion. The
 following day, I mailed  back and  said : "sorry for  my previous  message, you
 asked for a logo, I will do it the way  you want it". So I  got  started again.

 It didn't take me "long" to complete the  new logo... Two days  actually  and I
 finished it at  1:30  in the third  morning. I mailed it as  soon  as possible,
 eargerly waiting for a new opinion. The  only answer that  came back was "as it
 seems that working with you is impossible we have decided to use the old logo".
 There was _NOT_ a word about the new logo, the one I had been asked for and had
 worked on in a real rush ! I thought  it may  have been  lost and I  emailed it
 again and again...

 At last, some four days later, I had another mail  which read "sorry but people
 still think our old logo looks better than yours, so we won't use yours". I was
 smashed... What sort of game had  they played with me ? Ok they didn't like the
 first letters and background, so I redid them. Then what ? Not a word about how
 they liked it, what they  thought about  the changes, nothing, just a plain "we
 won't use it" without further comments.

 Some days ago, I met him on irc and started a chat to get him to tell about the
 new logo, not even being sure if he had seen it. I kept asking for explanations
 but only had inadequate replies. Finally  he said "I know you're a great gfxman
 and I like what you have  done so far. But this picture is less  good than your
 previous logos. It  looks like  a beginner's picture and  really shows that you
 were not motivated". Then he left as if nothing more needed to be said...

 Now let me get this straight : I _never_ pretended to be such a great artist, I
 would__not__ dare compare my piccies to Niko, Mod, Edo A-t or Havoc and no one
 should tell me that this is crap  talking because  I know what I'm worth, maybe
 not bad but not great either. Still I was _very_ motivated to work on this logo
 which gave me the opportunity to get back to pixelling  after a year of absence
 (my latest _REAL_ gfx was  the dragon I  presented at  SV2K and it  was done in
 september 1999). Though it was frustrating, I followed the instructions and did
 the letters from zero  again. At the  end of the day, I am  told that  it  is a
 beginner's picture and that  they don't want it, cool. Worst is  being told you
 are _NOT_ motivated while you_ARE_ (wtf can pretend to know what I thinK ??).

If that's what the Atari scene is about today, then I'm better off this scene !


Alive 1