Loony View!
Fahrenheit 9/11 - The Conspiracy theorist's view!
To say that I was expecting a lot of this film is the understatement of the
year. Michael Moore promised to expose the many lies behind the Amerikan
police state's war on terror, but it seems that he has left most of these
intact! A sense of growing disappointment and futility dominated
proceedings, as I settled down to watch a pirated minds-eye vision of how
the film went. If Michael Moore is such a "man of the people" as he claims,
he surely won't begrudge this small loss in cinema earning revenue!
He started off well by exposing the relationship between the Saudi royal
family, and both George Bush's(*), but he held back from telling us the
self-evident truth about their mutual dependence on the sweet bodily resins
given off by a giant alien insect hive queen !
(*) NOT George Bush senior and Junior, as most people might think, but
'Dubya' and his perfect clone double!
I feel that he stuck too rigidly to the narrow and unbelievable "official"
line of how events transpired on September 11th. That is, a number of
aircraft were hijacked and flown into buildings. You will recall, from the
footage of the destruction of the three World Trade Towers, how the
explosions were coloured a sparkly purple and the blast patterns travelled
straight down. There is no way that an aircraft flown into them could have
done that! The purple detonation colour indicates the presence of hard to
get ultra-precise Martian demolition explosives, probably operated by a
covert Mossad/Klingon special forces team!
(Yes, *three* towers! For those ignorant of the real truth, the third tower
was pyramidial, invisible, and built by a masonic Kelis milkshake song alien
conspiracy. In addition to headquartering the servers for the nefarious
world satellite network that controls the inside of people's heads, it also
provided emergency accomodation for Glen Miller and Elvis Presley, and had
garage space for 1500 black helicopters...)
Additionally, you will recall news footage from Channel 'FELI' (Number 501
on your Sky remote) that revealed the so-called hi-jackers as alive and
well, and vehemently denying any involvement in this planet's affairs. The
Thargoid overlord generally known as Osama bin Laden has gone on record to
say that he is a peace-loving species, with no wish to harm others.
Michael Moore does not even get near the real proximate cause of the war in
Iraq, which is to secure control of the Stargate discovered near Tikrit. He
doesn't even touch on the semi-official justification about the US army
searching to put a stop to the 'Green Kryptonite of mass destruction'.
Evidently the cover-up was so successful, that this hidden cover story
remains undiscovered by the public at large to this day! Some of us just
don't think that feeble story about oil supply cuts it! I'm surprised that
Mr Moore still places faith in it as a prime motivator for the events that
took place.
There was no mention made at all of Saddam Hussein being Britney Spear's
time-travelling lovechild, who returned from a fearful war-torn future to
prevent what happened in the past, but instead he got accidentally caught up
in causing much of the awfulness. Incidentally, we feel that his arrest and
pending trial are extremely unfair, and we are making our collected
information on the Saddam/Britney connection available to his defence team.
It just seems that they are a bit slow in replying to our emails, but we are
patient, and the real truth will find its way out into the open!
He does not bring the events that took place at Roswell in 1947 into the
story, but to be frank, we haven't found a way of doing this either as
yet....
Finally, there is the vexed question of the Princess of all our hearts,
Diana. Was this whole 'War on Terror' started to divert people's attention
away from the Daily fucking Mail printing photographs of her on their front
page, every time some shitey little tosspot former butler tries to cash in
with a tediously dull "Handbag of all her secrets" story?!
NEXT TIME! - Kennedy death new theory! Shot by a single man acting alone!
CiH, for Alive Mag, July '04 - Oh dear, we are going off on one, aren't we!
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