ATARI SPAM
AND
VIRUSES
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Over the last weeks we have endured a never seen before flow of viruses
invade our mailboxes some of them even using fake identities such as known
people ! Now that it occurs to me I have to confess I wondered why Baggio or
Earx promoted viagra :) Fortunately we as simple Atari users have been spared
such crap... Have we ? Since some of us browse the web with their accelerated
or standard Falcons here are some examples of spam and viruses they could find
in their own mailboxes :)
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Mail #1
Subject : feeling that your Falcon is too weak ?
"hi there ! I have heard about your problem lately. Don't feel embarrassed
as it can happen to everyone else out there ! Your Falcon is a bit slow and
cannot make it till the end when you need it ? Last night you tried to run
Evolution 1_0 but had to stop within seconds ? Don't be scared, it happens even
to the best of us ! Now we offer you the solution ! CT viagra is here to solve
all of your problems ! It'll instantly make your device feel stronger, faster
and more powerful ! One patch of CT viagra is enough to make your machine feel
like Lion king ! Let the jungle know who's the best and only one ! You won't
have to blush anymore ! CT viagra will make you yell : "yes, I can make it and
deeper than you lamer !".
SPECIAL OFFER : Buy one patch now and next one is our gift for your trust !
with CT viagra you'll last longer ! And if you buy FIVE patches, extra ram is
offered ! (shipping not included).
Mail #2
Subject : Atari games and business offer
"Last night I visited Reservoir Gods website and noticed that you had all
the best scores at Godpey and Superfly ! Woh I'm really impressed especially
since i'm not such a great gamer as you :( Maybe some day you can teach how to
beat these scores ?".
"Oh, before I forget, I'm the only son of an African president who had to
flew his country because of naasty naaasty rebels ! I would appreciate if you
could open a bank account in your country for me. I assure you'll get at least
15% of the 15.000 billion dollars we need to secure ! Make my day and we'll
play godpey together I swear".
Mail #3
Subject : GEM update to run immediately !
"Last week, Atari headquarters announced they found a security breach in
the Atari ST TOS released in 1985 ! This breach allows any intruder to visit
your harddrive and mess around with your accessories and GEM settings ! Please
download the following patch (2.5Mb only) and run it on your machine asap !
This is national security issue, the future's now in your hands and don't
forget : God bless America, Bin Laden and Mac Donald !".
Mail #4
subject : I know you like it and me too !
"Hullo my name is Dansra of the Gool Cirls, you remember me ? The other
night you and I spent 2 hours chatting on #atarisex. You told me you loved to
touch your genitals when formatting a floppy and hmm it turned me sooo hot !
Now I want more and I want it NOW ! don't back off and be a good boy, I have
tons of floppies here that need reformating ! I cannot wait, hmm can you see me
and my uncared floppies ? Don't be nasty, take care of me !!".
"If you want to open a private chat with me, please call #214 546 689 and
give your credit card number. No extra fee will be charged (I promise) but to
make sure no one can read our tender exchanges, it's the *only* way to secure
chatting (3.15 Euros per minute). Btw, have I already told you that I'm sitting
naked in front of my ST all day long ? Oooh it's soooo hot here, someone has to
help me out. I can rub your mouse like nobody else, so don't be shy and come to
me (you need to be above 18 years old and tick the "ok" box). I'm waiiiting for
you big boy !".
Mail #5
Subject : Blaster2 Microsoft newsletter
"We, big heads of M$, have found out that a new generation of the BLASTER
virus is currently spreading over the internet and we have decided to kill it
in the egg to show our customers that we DO care ! Please run the following
attachment from your root folder and it'll get you saved from any highjack
attempt !"
"If you're not running Windows(tm) environment please download this file
and copy it to the system folder of every PC at work ! This way, your fellow
workers will be kept away from any risk and can be grateful to you !".
Mail #6
Subject : your order #4521
"Dear Sir, we are sorry to let you know that the DVD you ordered "Mad Max
at Wembley" is no longer available. We deeply apologize for the inconvenient
but would like to offer you an alternative choice of DVDs. We currently hold in
stock volumes 3 and 4 of "horny mice and wet mat are back" for your greatest
pleasure. It includes mice bondage, keyboard rubbing, monitor dry cleaning and
more !. To confirm order please click on the following link :"
http://fat_and_greasy_40ers_and_older.com
Mail #7
Subject : buy a diploma in ASM !
"Hi there ! I have read the ALIVE review of your latest intro and though I
think STS is an unfair bastard, I have to add that he wasn't too wrong... Your
screens show that you cannot clearly understand a single line of the code you
copy/paste from other people's routines. Forget about it and become the next
Defjam in a matter of minutes ! You want to code fullscreen C2P in 1VBL ? You
want all of these lamers to get on their knees when they watch you new stuff ?
WE CAN MAKE IT BECOME TRUE ! We offer various ranges of ASM diplomas for all
prices : be a shy newcomer or an asskicking wizard, all of this is offered to
you today !"
"Become an ace in less than a week ! No real knowledge nor any skills are
needed ! I became a great coder and I still don't know what ASM means ! If you
want to rule, you need to get your own ASM diploma RIGHT NOW !".
Mail #8
Subject : webcam fixed at last !
"Hi honey ! Remember me from the other day on #atariscne when we were
discussing the latest CT60 bugfixes ? I feel like you and I have always known
and hence I'm very proud and happy to announce that I've finally managed to get
my webcam run on my STe ! You can see me live at http://sectorone.tart.com now.
I want you to go deep into my registers, put floppies into my tight hole and
spread pixels all over my face. Cum to me !"
"If you want I can also get my Falcon started and we'll run WHIP all night
long ! Come and show me how good you are at whip pong ! Rooooar !"
NB : my name is Natasha, I'm 42 years old and I have 4 children who need a
stable father.
Mail #9
Subject : RE Godpey highscores and business offer
"Hi again my friend ! I can see that you've greatly improved your latest
hiscores at Godpey, woh really impressive !! But you forgot to mail me your
bank account number, I guess you were too busy, no problem. Oh btw my royal
family and I are looking for a place to stay for no more than a couple of weeks
or maybe months. I heard that you had a big and comfortable flat and that you
were inclined to welcome all Atarians and that's good news to me. My family,
namely my 2 uncles and aunties, my wife and our 7 kids would be happy to meet
you at last !"
"Since we are going thru some financial hard times, I would be grateful if
you pay for our 13 plane tickets. I'll pay you back as soon as we have landed
and you have given me your bank account number. Stay cool stay atari !".
Mail #10
Subject : better than lousy CT viagra, give CT120 a try now !
"Hi dear customer ! We are happy to note that you were satisfied with your
previous CT viagra order and that is the reason why we want to offer you a new
and exclusive offer : the CT120 vaxium !"
"You enjoyed the power offered by CT viagra ? You want more and longer ?
CT120 vaxium is the ONLY accelerating medicine that can go faster than plain
CT60 ! Double speed and power in a blink of the eye ! We know we shouldn't make
such promising offer but since we take you as a number *ONE* customer, we have
decided to make it special for you, and you only (ignore the 45 other addresses
in this message headline). You want to mock CT60 owners ? We offer you a unique
chance to have the next gen Falcon ! Don't hesitate too long as this offer is
limited to the first 50,000 customers ! Order now or die !".
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Oki the joke (or threat ?) has come to an end now ! You can peacefully
switch your ST or Falcon on and still laugh at the many brainless people who
get caught by such stupid messages ! Btw if you want real viagra, mail me at
survivor@atari.org :))
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