HAVING FUN WITH A
Yes happy Atarians, you can have fun with a PC and I'm gonna tell you why
and how in a few seconds... Still here ? okay time to kill it and unveil the
mystery : of course it's not about about fun running a PC is but more like
laughing at some typical PC situations.
For instance, some time ago I had to download the latest version of
Internet Explorer for the lessons I teach in computing and internet. As I only
enjoy a phone connection, the download (or was it an update only ?) took me an
hour or more... The first installation fucked up, the second one was a success
tho I found out later that my modem wasn't recongnized anymore... Does it make
any sense or am I dumb ? I managed to get my modem to work after one hour and
then realized that my printer was the problem now... Damm PC.
When there's nothing worth on TV I usually drive to the closest videos
shop. As I tend to feel bored but not sleepy at say 4 am I often use the
automat placed in front of the same shop. One day (or night?) I was amazed when
returning a video, to face... windows on the machine screen ! Some crash had
happened and a not so unknown error message was displayed. If windows gets
installed everywhere I'm gonna end up locked up in my cellar, afraid of what
could fuck up next time.
My father still uses his 5 year old P100 tho it goes crashing so often that
I've thought of smashing it to pieces. I still remember when the soundcard just
stopped working while a "memory unsufficient' error message was shown up. Erm
what ? Really that couldn't be the real problem ! I wasted some days changing
parameters, reinstalling the driver before my father decided to open the tower
and have a closer look... the card was just plain dead! We returned it to the
shop where we had bought it a couple of months earlier and they told us that
the problem was known with that series of card. Great news ! The new (but still
of the same series) card has been working so far, unless it burns off again....
On that same PC, I was once welcomed by an usual error message, though a
classic one when you turn on an "old" PC with a disk in the floppy drive. Yet
it was the first time I was greeted with a message... in Spanish!!! Now you
tell me how that could happen ! I hope my GEM won't turn to Chinese :)
As you may know, I left my mailserver HOTMAIL some months ago. For more than
a year it had actually become Micro$oft owned and seeing so many MSN icons and
links everywhere was really getting me paranoid !!! Besides some of you
complained that I didn't their mails and actually I wish I had only received
them ! Since I moved out, I still hang around HOTMAIL sometimes to make sure
some of you don't send mail to this email. Every here and there I get Atari
mails on Hotmail and funnily enough when I try to reply these, an error message
box pops up telling me that "unauthorized operation has been performed that
will cause Internet Explorer to be closed". Hey Micro$oft own mailserver cannot
work with Internet Explorer ?? Nice one Bill ! Who knows maybe even Micro$oft
employees cannot stand their boss either.... :)
Now for software stories. The PC I bought came bundled with Windows ME plus
some utilities including Word2000. About it, you surely know that if you type
in "anti-stress", Word will underline it in red showing a mistake. But when it
comes to correction, the only suggestion is "anti-arabes" (French Word2000).
fucking racists !
I also have a few problems with this computer : sometimes when it stays
unused for a while, it tends to act oddly. Double-clicking on a icon results in
opening ALL windows icons at once ! You guess how pissing this is ! Also audio
files (such as on an audio CD) are not opened with the right tool and therefore
an error message opens every time another track is loaded. Also letters tend to
be blocked in capitals for no reason... ????
Still talking of Word2000 : I use it to write my lessons and not being a fan
of French accents I enjoy the spelling corrector. Except that on my new PC the
option just _REFUSED_ to work arguing that the dictionary file couldn't be
opended on harddrive. Oddly the dictionary works fine from the installation CD.
But tho present on my harddrive, it can't be opened by Word2000 ! I phoned my
hotline and was quite happy to talk to someone who didn't pretend Micro$oft
software was flawless (he even told me NOT to use some features !!). He managed
to get the dictionary work and you'll surely not guess how : he told me to find
the folder 'Proof' and rename it to 'oldproof'. Erm and you call yourself a
computer expert ? Erm... I didn't say anything here since the odd manipulation
worked !!! By the way if you find yourself trying to fix a Windows bug from
Micro$oft homepage, you'll be facing at least 10 pages of reported bugs ! Last
but not least, the pages read that "people who bought a PC with Micro$oft
pre-installed software (is there anyone out there actually _BUYING_ M$ crap ?)
should address to their seller and NOT to Micro$oft". Another view of software
responsibilities, the way Micro$oft fancies it.
Before I put an end to this article, let's finish with a pure moment of
delight :) Some time ago the Tokyo Game Show was hold demonstrating "next gen"
consoles. Of course allmighty Bill Gates was there, standing on a huge stage
while even huger Xbox logos were projected on giant screens. First the sucker's
"presumably" clashing entry was welcomed by several hundreds of Japanese gamers
keeping as silent as fishes, not a single word was spoken, no clapping or even
booing. A pure moment of solitude I think Mr Gates, isn't it ? :) To worsen
things, Bill dared call gamers "customers" ! Not a smart move in the country
that raises games to the level of master pieces... Being rich and powerful
doesn't imply understanging people's desires and once again Bill showed how
dumb and brainless he still is. Now I wonder who will actually buy the Xbox in
Maybe more to come next time but before that don't hesitate to send me
testimonies about the dumbest or oddest bugs or problems you may have
encountered on your PC. My STe may be +10 years old, it still runs perfectly.